Editing out the ego

From the moment I printed that first copy of my book and gave it to a friend to read, I exposed myself to judgment. It was the most terrifying experience of my life, except perhaps my first day of teaching and singing a solo in my singing class last year – I learned the true meaning of ‘petrified’.

Petrificus totalus

But in return for my bravery, I got advice.

I have done my fair share of editing and reviewing others’ work (not least because I’m a teacher and in my field that’s called marking English books), and I know how hard it is to be constructive, to point at the things that require improvement without being negative or imposing how you would have written it.

But I also know that receiving advice is harder still. First of all you have to get over the part of yourself that says your work is flawless and couldn’t possibly be improved. Then it’s to lick your wounds and recover some pride. And finally, you need to decide what to do with the advice. Not all advice is good or will make sense to you, but I’ve often heard it said that if you get the same comment over and over again, or if it rings true to you, then it’s probably worth acting on. Out of all the advice and comments I have received thus far, I have only ignored a couple and that’s because they went against what my book was about fundamentally. You can imagine what I thought of it. Images of cattle and feces come to mind.

I have to say, though, that it’s been a lot less painful than I had anticipated. Like my ‘writing coming-out’, receiving advice becomes easier the more you get. I have recently given my book to beta-read to my boyfriend, and his insights (and massacre of my book) have not even wounded my ego one bit – and for once I say this sincerely. Not a tear, not even a flinch of the heart.

The fact that I had stalled in the editing process has helped, because I am grateful for a fresh pair of eyes to point out what I no longer see but know needs improving. If anything it has actually got me quite excited about seeing what changes he has made, and I enjoy being able to discuss what I could change.

Another proof that, as many things (plasters and exams amongst other things) it’s the worrying beforehand that’s painful. Once you get it over and done with, it’s fine. Really.

So if you’re a scared amateur-writer, go ahead, take the plunge and share your words. Yes, you know who you are. It gets better, I promise.

Just let it go.