Friday 1 August 2014

The promised surprise

I said I would post an extract, so here it is. 
I wrote this at the very end of the NaNo and I was quite tired - I'd been writing 3k a day for a week by that point - so it might show. It's still very rough, I haven't gone over it yet. Don't be too hard on me!

The reason I picked this one is because the character I'm introducing popped into my head as I was writing. I knew the characters had to get into the town, find their way to the pub and that the owner there would be difficult. But I made up the rest as I went, and suddenly this woman became their guide, and I hadn't planned that at all.

It's quite a long extract, but it also gives you a insight into the world I have imagined.

Anyway, this is what it looks like when characters crash my story uninvited:


~*~


The sun is piercing through the clouds when we reach the harbour. Row after row, sailing ships are moored along quays, their masts clinging and swaying as the waves rock the hulls. The smell of the sea is stronger here, mixed with paint and resin and less noble scents. The buildings are even more impressive than they had been near the entrance, so glossy I can see my reflection in the walls. Steps lead to grand entrances with arches and statues carved from the same dark stone.
‘How do they get it so beautiful?’ I ask.
Rowan shrugs, his wings flapping as he does so, and for a second I am so distracted I forget I asked a question. But Izzie’s voice brings me back. ‘The rock around here is obsidian, that’s why the mountains are so dark. They used to be volcanoes. The rock elves polish the rock to make it gleam, but they also use spells on it so that the seawater does not erode it. Very costly. But they have the Worth. Morin is one of the main trading ports in Meuriaden, and only a handful of families own the trading fellowships.’
And indeed men and women are busy hoarding goods from the ships, scuttling about with their loads. It is obviously a working place, and I can’t see many children around unless they are helping carry goods. Transactions are not made in the street, but rooms behind balcony windows hint at luxurious offices.
The ships, on the other hand, vary in stature and condition. Some are tall, with many masts, their hulls freshly painted and their lower decks loaded with richly decorated cabins. Some of the larger ships are so narrow they look like fuselier fish, perhaps designed for speed. Other ships are hardly more than sailing boats or are decrepit. The paint is peeling off hulls covered in shells and their rotting masts creak as their frayed flags flap about in the wind.
Izzie tries her luck a few more times, but she is still unsuccessful.
‘Maybe you should ask, Lacie. You’re younger, and you look quite innocent. You almost look like an elf yourself. They might be more willing to help you.’
‘Nnno nonononononono!’
I think the expression of sheer panic on my face is enough to make Izzie think twice, but she has no time to argue. A roar of laughter behind us makes us turn around.
A young woman is sitting on the pier, her legs crossed and her arms folded behind her head, as though she were reclining in a lounge. Her hair is light and floats in the wind along with a scarf she wears around her neck. Her pale tunic and skirt puff as the wind rushes into their folds and leaves again. She seems so unsubstantial for a moment I wonder if she is one of the sprites they have told me about.
‘May I ask what’s so funny?’ Izzie asks, her chin raised.
‘You may,’ the young woman says, but she tilts her head back and closes her eyes.
‘What’s so funny?’ Izzie repeats.
‘You come into an elvish town asking for help while you’re pulling that poor beast around? And then you wonder why they won’t help you?’
We all stare at each other then at the unicorn. She looks happy enough to me, but I remember what Theo said about elves thinking animals can’t be owned.
‘Well, Lacie, maybe you can go back to the entrance to the town with Cleo and we’ll…’
‘No, no, please no!’ I protest. ‘I don’t want to stay by myself!’
‘But Lacie…’
‘Take the bridle off,’ I say in a brilliant flash of inspiration.
‘What? But Lacie, she might run away.’
‘She won’t! Take it off!’
Izzie hesitates. The elvish woman opens an eye and smirks.
‘Fine. But stay close in case she… you know.’
Very carefully, Izzie unbuckles the bridle and slides it off.
Cleo takes a few steps forward, and Izzie holds her breath. But the univorn turns her head to me and nudges my shoulder.
‘See, I told you it would be okay,’ I say.
‘Well, that was quite entertaining,’ the elf says, stretching her arms as though he’d just woken up. ‘But quite unnecessary. I’ll help you. For a price.’
Rowan and Izzie share a look, while Cleo begs me for more scratches.
‘How much do you want?’ Rowan asks.
‘How much are you willing the pay?’ the elf asks.
‘A featherweight, but no more.’
The woman tilts her head to consider them.
‘Two featherweights,’ she declares.
‘That’s too much,’ Izzie says. ‘We’ll meet you halfway.’
They continue haggling until they agree on a featherweight and a half of Worth and two unicorn hairs. Cleo is not happy about the last part of the deal and snorts and nibbles by shoulder in protest when I pull the two hairs off her mane, but she doesn’t run away.
‘My name is Emerald Spall,’ the elf says, offering us a slender hand to shake. ‘Now, what can I do for you?’
‘We are looking for a pub called the Dark Crow’s Start. It was here a really long…’
‘Oh that dank place?’ Emerald interrupts. She makes a face like she’s just tasted something nasty. ‘You’re sure you want to go there?’
‘Why? What’s wrong with it?’ Rowan asks.
‘Well, it’s not shiny like here, that’s for sure.’
‘We’re… er…’ Izzie starts, throwing glances at Rowan. ‘We’re looking for a place around here that sounds similar. Something with references to crows and eagles maybe.’
‘Don’t know about eagles, but there are crows plenty around here. And gulls. The damn thing stole some of my lunch!’
Rowan winces, but Emerald continues. ‘I’ll take you to the Dark Crow, though, that’s no problem.’

We follow Emerald through the town, or up, since part of the town clings onto the mountain side. Every now and then she greets someone and the looks we get are less threatening now that Cleo is following us of her own free will, but the elves’ welcome could hardly be described as warm.
Soon the mansions of the seafront become sparse, replaced by more modest houses of black slabs. The mountain is now visible behind the roofs. The uncertain weather and the colour of the rock, covering every inch as far as the eye can see, give the town a grim atmosphere. My thighs are beginning to sting from the climb when we enter a part of town that would look completely abandoned if it wasn’t for the ribbons of smoke coming out of the chimneys. The houses are tall and narrow, as though the people who built them had tried to squish them together to make space for more. The smell of seawater is long gone, replaced by the stench of sewage. A river of brown liquid flows down the sides of the street, and I don’t want to know what is in it.
Our pub is at the top of the street, ensconced into the mountain side, which now towers around us on all three sides. A wooden door has been drilled into the rock and a stone sign hangs off rusty hinges; letters and pictures were carved into it once, but the wind, the rain and the brine have long eroded any meaning. I look up at the vertical plane of rock rising above it, and notice a series of large holes, regularly interspersed.
‘What are those? I ask Emerald, pointing at the holes.
‘Windows, of course! The whole of the old town is inside the mountain, but the rich folks left a long time ago. Bit too dark and damp. Still, it makes for a cosy place when the sea is stormy.’
A tunnel on the left of the pub catches my attention. It is a hole of darkness and I have no idea how far it extends, but something about it is attracting me towards it.
‘Wouldn’t go in there, if I were you,’ Emerald says, catching my arm. ‘Bad people down there.’
‘What is it?’
‘It’s the entrance to the old town. But the folk in the old town aren’t very nice, are they? No money, and all those beautiful ships with exotic goods on their doorsteps… Would try to rip all of you apart to get your valuables, and if you don’t have any, they’d rip all of you apart trying to find them all the same.’
I give the tunnel one last look and shudder.
Izzie is still staring at the stone sign hanging above the pub door, as if to find any clues.
‘Shall we go in?’ Emerald says, and she barges past Rowan and Izzie to make her grand entrance.
I come in last, trying to make myself very small. The inside of the pub is so dark it takes my eyes a few seconds to adjust. The only light comes from the tiny holes in the rock above our heads and a feeble blue light in a lantern hanging in the middle of the room. But perhaps that is for the better. The absence of light makes it easier to ignore the sores and scabs covering the faces and arms of the pub regulars, the layers of grime on the counter top and the rivulets of undetermined liquid on the floor. The stench on the other hand, is suffocating. A mixture of rancid sweat, unwashed feet, old beer, with an undertone of urine and mouldy linen that has seen too much seawater and not enough sunshine. Breathing with my mouth open is not much help, and the smell is so strong I can almost taste it. It is all I can do not to run out of the door. My feet stick to the floor each time I try to take a step.
The pub is quite busy considering it is only early afternoon, but Emerald strolls in as if she owned the place and elbows a few people until she has a space at the bar. We manage to squash in beside her, and I try not to look at the faces around us; the few I caught were not friendly, and I find it difficult not to stare at the missing teeth and broken noses. Better not look at all. Emerald hollers at the man behind the counter, who was wiping some glasses with a dirty towel, until he turns his attention to us.
‘What’ you doing here, you bloody useless leech? I told you I didn’t want no business from you!’
Emerald doesn’t seem put off by his greeting, nor by the fact that he spits when he talks and is missing an ear. On the contrary, she beams and points at us.
‘I brought you customers!’ she says.
‘And are those customers of yours gonna pay what you owe me?’
‘Maybe,’ she says with a wink.
‘We just want to ask you some questions,’ Izzie says, having managed to wedge herself against the counter.
‘I don’t answer no questions. This is a pub, lady. I serve customers. What’ you getting?’
‘A round of cider and some of your chestnnut stew,’ Emerald says before I have time to look around and realise there isn’t a menu.
‘We’re not of age!’ Izzie protests. ‘And sylphs can’t eat stew.’
‘Arf, don’t fret, girl,’ Emerald laughs. ‘You’re not gonna wanna eat or drink any of it anyway. If you’re turning up your nose at this place, wait ‘til you see kitchen! Ts’all to keep old grumpy here talking, isn’it!.’
Emerald leaves the counter as suddenly as she had come and finds a table in a corner. I lean on the table as I sit down on the stone stools and put my hand leaves with a gooey residue. I try to wipe it on a corner of my stool without anybody looking and hug myself tight to avoid touching anything else. At least the smell in the corner is not as bad as near the bar. The order we came in means that I end up sitting between Izzie and Rowan, which rather pleases me, though they are both so much taller than me that I suddenly realise how small I must look to them.
‘You have nice clothes,’ Izzie says to Emerald.
‘Why, thank you!’ Emerald replies.
‘Why do you have debt, then? If you can afford nice clothes.’
‘Ah, but would you rather look like them lot, grimy and stinky, or owe a grumpy man a bit of worth? When we get off the ships, they give us only some of our worth. Some men drink it all in the first night, you see. I choose to have a bath and some clean clothes. The grumpy old sod’ll get his money when I get mine. Only fair.’
The one-eared pub owner soon brings us glasses of frothy cider, limping as he walks and spilling half of it on the floor. He’s back moments later with four cups of broth with a couple of lonely chestnuts floating in it. We all look at it in disgust except Emerald, who grabs a spoon and slurps the stew, washing it down with large gulps of cider. In spite of her warnings to us, she seems to be rather enjoying it. All three of us watch her, half with awe and half with revulsion. 

3 comments:

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  2. Nice excerpt!
    I could totally smell the seawater, the salt that lingers on your tongue when you breath at the beginning and then the stench in the pub.
    I'm curious about the tunnel that leads to the old city, is it inside the mountain?
    And that lady, Emerald, I wonder what she'll turn out to be!

    It might be a rough draft, with all the little mistakes, typo and all, but I like the way you describe everything, I can feel it, I see it and I totally smell it.
    Good job! I want to read more!

    (I like your choice of rock for the mountain. If I see a mountain made out of obsidian, I would be the happiest person in the whole universe, but it makes the city so much more unique and magical.)

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  3. Thanks for dropping by, Chatou. Your comment really brightened my day!
    And I'm glad you share my love for obsidian :)

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